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lucathiaHm, I should start planning for NaNo. Not sure what I want to do yet... I thought I'd continue where I left off last year since that story is still hanging and I do want to finish the story, but there are so many flaws in the story and its premise that I wonder if I should even continue it. :'D I truly felt like I was RPing with myself in writing the story with alternating POVs, and I despair that none of the female characters have a prominent role yet.
When I went through with editing what I had last year to print the first part as a book, I tweaked some phrases to have them make more sense in the long run, and I added a scene that should bridge events better so that things don't come out of nowhere (which meant I had to tweak the wording of the scene before and after this since this was an added scene!). I haven't posted the edited chapters and probably won't, so with current wording, this scene doesn't fit at all... but here's the added scene. With blatant foreshadowing. XD; Or maybe I should just go through and post edited versions in the old posts even though I have chapters divided differently... or... nah. I'll just leave it. XD; This is an extra scene added in Part 7. Instead of leaving right away, Rykatu goes on a detour. This is labeled as chapter 10 in the edited version.
= RYKATU =
"What the lord, seriously? You know, I think I'd rather have guard duty back now."
When Rykatu exited the meeting room, his escort was pleasantly shouting at Captain Akatkai in a voice that was loud enough to wake a sleeping dragon halfway across the mountain. Rykatu had already heard muffled snatches of the conversation from inside the meeting room, but once he opened the door, he was greeted by Tekatme shaking his fist at Captain Akatkai to complete the picture.
Rykatu stopped in the doorway. Shikatshi stopped right next to him and started wringing his hands together when he saw the squabbling duo in the hallway.
"Ah, ah, they are always like that. No need to pay them any mind, hahahaha..." Shikatshi's voice trailed off when Tekatme leveled a glare at him. Rykatu felt Shikatshi take a step back, seemingly hoping Rykatu would be able to shield him, which was fairly impossible. Even if Shikatshi bent down a lot, he would still be sticking out from the sides, since he was, on a whole, a lot more massive than Rykatu.
Captain Akatkai flicked Tekatme's ear.
"Ouch!" exclaimed Tekatme, hand immediately flying to his ear. He scowled and bared his teeth at his captain.
"That's not how you should treat Shikatshi, Tekatme," reprimanded Captain Akatkai. He looked towards where Rykatu and Shikatshi stood, and was actually looking past Rykatu. Rykatu didn't have to turn to know that the man was trying to catch Shikatshi's eyes to apologize for Tekatme's behavior. Captain Akatkai really took it upon himself to keep Tekatme in line.
Tekatme scowled even more, his eyebrows drawing together in displeasure. "Whatever." He huffed and turned his back on Captain Akatkai.
Around Tekatme's neck, Rykatu could now see pristine, white bandages. It relieved him to know that Tekatme had changed his bandages. That sash he had used earlier would have made his injury worse in the long run. He had changed his clothes too and was now wearing something much simpler and much more comfortable looking. The fact that he wasn't pulling at his collar anymore attested to that. Rykatu was looking forward to changing too once he left the village.
"It's fine, Captain Akatkai!" said Shikatshi quickly. He took a step forward so that he was no longer hiding behind Rykatu. He wringed his hands some more. "Prince Rykatu would like to visit the boys who had gotten hurt, so could you please show him to their cottage, Tekatme? I would appreciate it," said Shikatshi, turning slightly towards Tekatme.
"Lord, what do you want me to do? Make up your mind already," grumbled Tekatme as he shot both Captain Akatkai and Shikatshi a look. It amazed Rykatu to see Tekatme act so blatantly disrespectful towards his captain and Shikatshi, who was practically Veline's leader with Lady Tokara's absence. He could tell that Tekatme was brash and the type not to care about rank or social standing, but seeing him in action was still eye-opening. Sometimes, Rykatu wondered how it would feel to express himself without inhibitions much like what Tekatme seemed to do.
"You can start your search after," said Captain Akatkai, though Rykatu didn't know what he meant by that. What search?
"Like I have a choice," replied Tekatme with a roll of his eyes. "Come on Rykatu, let's get going," Tekatme said casually, almost as if they were best buddies. The startled look on Shikatshi's face was priceless. He looked just like a surprised lion, mouth agape as Rykatu made his way out of the building with his escort. He gave a nod to both Veline's second-in-command and Veline's captain of the guards, thanking them for their time.
>-)-)-D
They made their way over to the residential area of the village, the buildings becoming farther apart as they walked. The shops in the commercial area had all been crammed closely together, but the cottages occupying the residential area had much more space in between them, with stone paths leading up to each door. Some cottages had vegetable patches out front while others had trees, some bearing fruit.
The cottage that Tekatme led Rykatu to was a small one with a brown, thatched roof and gray, stone walls. In front of this particular cottage stood two trees with what looked to be hand-made swing sets dangling from their branches, fastened with thick rope.
Walking up to the door with Tekatme close behind him, Rykatu gave the door a knock, preparing himself for the worst. Surely the father was not happy that his sons had been harmed by a dragon. He soon heard two sets of pounding footsteps.
When the door opened, all Rykatu saw was the interior of the cottage - until he looked down.
Two identical, red-haired boys blinked up at him with large eyes.
"Aw, you're not Mikani!" exclaimed one of the boys in disappointment, half-hanging off the door.
No, he was not, especially since he was not female-
"Are you Mikani's older sister?" asked the other boy hopefully with his hands clasped in front of him.
It was hard not to hear Tekatme's deafening laughter, but Rykatu didn't acknowledge his escort's amusement at the boys' wild guesses. He glanced over the boys, noting their bandages. One boy had his ankle wrapped. The other, his arm. They didn't look severely hurt. He turned the name "Mikani" over in his head. That must be the name of the young dragon involved in the incident. Mikani, where had he heard the name before?
"Nah, can't be," mused the first boy, "Her hair is blue! Not red!"
"Lord, you two are hilarious. This dude here," said Tekatme with a jerk of his thumb, "is the next-in-line of the dragon tribe. You two better get that straight. Don't want you provoking a dragon without even knowing what you've done!"
The boys' eyes grew wider and wider with each word Tekatme spoke. When he finished, the twins, without communicating with each other, both pounced forward at the same time.
Before he knew it, Rykatu had two boys hanging off him, one on his back and the other pulling his mantle down from the front. Thankfully, he managed to stop himself from reacting with his magic.
"A fully grown dragon!" exclaimed the boy on his back. "Can you transform? Why is your hair blue and not red like Mikani's? Is it because you're a boy? Are you really a boy?"
"Do you breathe fire? Can you fly? Mikani doesn't know how to fly very well yet! I wanted to apologize to her for making fun of her flying..." said the boy who was stretching out Rykatu's mantle.
"Do you...like dragons?" asked Rykatu finally after their barrage of questions. From what he had been told of the incident, he thought it had happened because of animosity between the human boys and the young dragon, but they sounded excited to see him. They didn't sound like they disliked dragons.
"Dragons are wicked cool!" exclaimed the boy that was still on Rykatu's back. "They can transform and everything!"
"Mikani is our friend. Of course we like dragons!" said the other twin with a tug on Rykatu's mantle.
As Rykatu pondered what this meant, he heard another set of footsteps, this one unhurried, from within the cottage.
"Boys, who was it at the- Oh man."
A middle-aged man - most likely the boys' father - stopped in the doorway, hands crossed. "Boys, get off that young man at once."
For some reason, Tekatme started laughing again. The man looked at Tekatme with raised eyebrows.
Instead of saying sorry, Tekatme jerked his head towards Rykatu. "Let me introduce this guy here again. Meet Rykatu. Next-in-line of the dragon tribe."
The man's eyes grew even wider than his sons' had been earlier on when they had learned of his identity. Tekatme seemed to be enjoying himself with shocking the family, saving Rykatu from having to introduce himself.
"May we come in?" asked Rykatu.
>-)-)-D
"Have a cup of tea. Ah, is tea okay?" asked the father hesitantly when he brought the cups and kettle over.
Rykatu inclined his head.
After he poured the tea, the father sat down. Both boys were at the table too, their elbows propped up, hands supporting their faces as they gazed at him curiously. Tekatme stood off to the side, leaning against the wall.
"I apologize for Mikani's behavior," Rykatu began, placing his tea cup down after taking a small sip. "She should have been more careful." Mikani. Now he recalled the name. That was the name of the youngest daughter of Kakane. She was an all right kid, unlike her greedy mother.
The father waved his hand in the air. "Nah, it was nothing! You know how kids are, always falling here and there with how roughly they play. They took a tumble from her back. It's just a sprained ankle and a small gash on the arm. They'll recover in no time."
"Lord, you had to come all the way to apologize for that? Seriously?" exclaimed Tekatme from off to the side, butting into the conversation without asking. His tone told Rykatu exactly what he thought about the matter.
Rykatu was wondering about that too. The father didn't sound concerned or angry, so who was it that had blown the matter out of proportions? And why hadn't Kakane taken care of things herself when it was her daughter who was involved? He took another sip of his tea. Perhaps he was thinking too much about this. If the father wasn't angry and the boys were fine, then he could take his leave without any worries.
"How'd you manage to play together anyway?" asked Tekatme. "I haven't seen or heard about dragons coming in from the northern gate."
"We snuck out!"
"She snuck in!"
Both boys covered their mouths once they spoke. "Oops, I don't think I should have said that," they said behind their hands.
The father snorted. "See, my boys are just at fault too."
Sneaking that far to play with friends was quite something. The forest alone would have been difficult to cross.
"Lord, I can't believe our defenses are so horrid that kids have been sneaking right past us! Just what have the other guards been doing?" exclaimed Tekatme. He shot Rykatu a look, even though Rykatu hadn't been about to make a comment or anything. "Lemme tell you that no one would've been able to sneak past my nose."
Ah, so Tekatme had wanted him to know that it hadn't happened on his watch. He did take his job seriously after all, or maybe he just didn't like considering he might have slipped up.
Rykatu placed his cup down and listened while the father made small talk. Here was a family that wholeheartedly accepted dragons, something Rykatu didn't think was possible. Perhaps one day the boys would grow out of their amazement, but perhaps they wouldn't, not with their father supporting them. It was strange that such a family had been involved with the dispute between Veline and the dragon tribe, though now Rykatu wondered what that had all been about.
After they finished their tea, the father gathered up their cups, his sons almost hanging off his arms while he tidied up. They were a close family. He found himself watching them and wondering.
What was his father like? Would he have been like this man who had constructed swing sets for his sons? Would he have looked at Rykatu as fondly as this man was looking at his sons and say, "Boys will be boys?"
He watched, and wondered.
= TEKATME =
Tekatme couldn't believe that kids had been sneaking in and out of the village without anyone's notice. Something fishy - ugh, fish, scratch that thought - something strange was going on, because he refused to believe that Veline's defense was that bad, as incompetent as some of the newbies were. He guessed he'd need to report this to his captain before he left on that lord forbidden trip to find Lady Tokara. Next time, it might not be merely kids who made a joke out of their guard system.
They bid the old guy and the two brats farewell, taking their leave from the homely little cottage that reminded Tekatme of his own home back in his village. He even remembered clambering for his old man's attention with his sister much like what these brats had done. His mind was still on Veline's pathetic defense, but now he was also stuck on how closely knit this family had felt.
Lord, now he was becoming sentimental. He was not a sentimental guy, no way. Tekatme glanced at Rykatu to see if he had noticed - he'd hate it if he had - but Tekatme soon saw that Rykatu was staring off into space, maybe lost in his own memories or something like that. Much too occupied to notice Tekatme's brief lapse of sanity.
When Rykatu turned towards him, maybe sensing Tekatme's gaze, Tekatme didn't look away. He just raised his eyebrows, questioning Rykatu about his thoughts.
Right. Like Rykatu would open up like that.
"Cute family, weren't they?" commented Tekatme. Ugh, cute. He couldn't believe he had used the word, but lord, those brats were adorable little maggots with their identical grins, clinging to Rykatu like that and mistaking him for a girl. It would have been better if Rykatu had even bothered to be affected, but nah, he'd just been his usual, apathetic self. It looked like only fire - and Tekatme's idiocy - could change the expression on Rykatu's face.
"Me and my sis were like that with our old man too," he continued. Lord, he really was being sentimental, blabbering about his family like this. "Lord was she annoying...my old man's such a coward too."
"Be glad..." came Rykatu's soft voice.
"Huh?" asked Tekatme, stopping in mid-rant. Rykatu had spoken, but he didn't deign to continue what he had started saying, and he'd already walked off, leaving no room for further inquiry.
Be glad? Why? Tekatme scratched at his bandages, and wondered.
>-)-)-D
When they returned to the central building, his captain was no longer there. Tekatme had expected it, since his captain was a guard and all, and had lots of supervision to do that required him to patrol all over the village.
"Shikatshi should still be here," Tekatme said. "You have business with him still?"
Rykatu inclined his head slightly. "A question, and an answer." He was looking straight ahead, that faraway gaze of his unusually focused. He looked like he was on a mission. Far be it for Tekatme to get in his way.
>-)-)-D
"So, so, have you decided to join us for dinner?" asked Shikatshi excitedly while rubbing his hands together. The guy was seriously a bundle of nerves. First of all, he talked way too quickly, and second of all - lord, there he was at it again - he always rubbed his hands together in his nervousness. The man was towering and his face could've been fierce, but the way he held himself dispelled any possibility of him coming off as a confident leader.
"No, I must decline," said Rykatu. "And, I have a question."
Tekatme figured Rykatu wouldn't want to stay for some fancy dinner. He didn't seem the type to socialize. In fact, he'd be downright terrible at it, unless everyone was fine with having a listener that was probably not paying you any attention. Rykatu surely wasn't going to be the one initiating conversations, not unless you had information to give him.
"How disappointing. I had so wished your decision would be a positive one," murmured Shikatshi while wringing his hands. "But a question, you say? Go on, go on. If it is something I can provide answers to, I will do my utmost to serve."
There it was again, Shikatshi's eagerness to please. It was a trait that other people could easily take advantage of. Not a good thing for Veline.
"Was the father the one who lodged a complaint?" asked Rykatu.
Huh? What was this about? Tekatme peered over at Rykatu. He had his eyes fixed on Shikatshi.
"A complaint, you say? Nothing of the sort! In fact, I do believe the dragon tribe sent word to us that there was something they needed to apologize for. Truly, a noble tribe!" exclaimed Shikatshi.
As Veline's second-in-command excitedly talked about the virtues of the dragon tribe, Tekatme saw Rykatu's face pale.
"Something wrong?" asked Tekatme.
"That's...all I needed to know," murmured Rykatu, eyes downcast. "Thank you. I'll be taking my leave now."
I am veeery tempted to start over from scratch. But the question would be... would the story turn out any better in its execution? Probably not... maybe I should go and edit what I have of Part 2 so far so that I don't meander farther and farther off track...
Hm, I really wanted this to be young adult, but I failed right away when my characters weren't even adolescents. A rewrite is looking more and more alluring. With me trying to stick to one POV, or at least not do alternating POVs in such a systematic order. I don't need to show their reactions to every single thing! *thinks about it* Haha...I would fail so hard.
When I went through with editing what I had last year to print the first part as a book, I tweaked some phrases to have them make more sense in the long run, and I added a scene that should bridge events better so that things don't come out of nowhere (which meant I had to tweak the wording of the scene before and after this since this was an added scene!). I haven't posted the edited chapters and probably won't, so with current wording, this scene doesn't fit at all... but here's the added scene. With blatant foreshadowing. XD; Or maybe I should just go through and post edited versions in the old posts even though I have chapters divided differently... or... nah. I'll just leave it. XD; This is an extra scene added in Part 7. Instead of leaving right away, Rykatu goes on a detour. This is labeled as chapter 10 in the edited version.
"What the lord, seriously? You know, I think I'd rather have guard duty back now."
When Rykatu exited the meeting room, his escort was pleasantly shouting at Captain Akatkai in a voice that was loud enough to wake a sleeping dragon halfway across the mountain. Rykatu had already heard muffled snatches of the conversation from inside the meeting room, but once he opened the door, he was greeted by Tekatme shaking his fist at Captain Akatkai to complete the picture.
Rykatu stopped in the doorway. Shikatshi stopped right next to him and started wringing his hands together when he saw the squabbling duo in the hallway.
"Ah, ah, they are always like that. No need to pay them any mind, hahahaha..." Shikatshi's voice trailed off when Tekatme leveled a glare at him. Rykatu felt Shikatshi take a step back, seemingly hoping Rykatu would be able to shield him, which was fairly impossible. Even if Shikatshi bent down a lot, he would still be sticking out from the sides, since he was, on a whole, a lot more massive than Rykatu.
Captain Akatkai flicked Tekatme's ear.
"Ouch!" exclaimed Tekatme, hand immediately flying to his ear. He scowled and bared his teeth at his captain.
"That's not how you should treat Shikatshi, Tekatme," reprimanded Captain Akatkai. He looked towards where Rykatu and Shikatshi stood, and was actually looking past Rykatu. Rykatu didn't have to turn to know that the man was trying to catch Shikatshi's eyes to apologize for Tekatme's behavior. Captain Akatkai really took it upon himself to keep Tekatme in line.
Tekatme scowled even more, his eyebrows drawing together in displeasure. "Whatever." He huffed and turned his back on Captain Akatkai.
Around Tekatme's neck, Rykatu could now see pristine, white bandages. It relieved him to know that Tekatme had changed his bandages. That sash he had used earlier would have made his injury worse in the long run. He had changed his clothes too and was now wearing something much simpler and much more comfortable looking. The fact that he wasn't pulling at his collar anymore attested to that. Rykatu was looking forward to changing too once he left the village.
"It's fine, Captain Akatkai!" said Shikatshi quickly. He took a step forward so that he was no longer hiding behind Rykatu. He wringed his hands some more. "Prince Rykatu would like to visit the boys who had gotten hurt, so could you please show him to their cottage, Tekatme? I would appreciate it," said Shikatshi, turning slightly towards Tekatme.
"Lord, what do you want me to do? Make up your mind already," grumbled Tekatme as he shot both Captain Akatkai and Shikatshi a look. It amazed Rykatu to see Tekatme act so blatantly disrespectful towards his captain and Shikatshi, who was practically Veline's leader with Lady Tokara's absence. He could tell that Tekatme was brash and the type not to care about rank or social standing, but seeing him in action was still eye-opening. Sometimes, Rykatu wondered how it would feel to express himself without inhibitions much like what Tekatme seemed to do.
"You can start your search after," said Captain Akatkai, though Rykatu didn't know what he meant by that. What search?
"Like I have a choice," replied Tekatme with a roll of his eyes. "Come on Rykatu, let's get going," Tekatme said casually, almost as if they were best buddies. The startled look on Shikatshi's face was priceless. He looked just like a surprised lion, mouth agape as Rykatu made his way out of the building with his escort. He gave a nod to both Veline's second-in-command and Veline's captain of the guards, thanking them for their time.
They made their way over to the residential area of the village, the buildings becoming farther apart as they walked. The shops in the commercial area had all been crammed closely together, but the cottages occupying the residential area had much more space in between them, with stone paths leading up to each door. Some cottages had vegetable patches out front while others had trees, some bearing fruit.
The cottage that Tekatme led Rykatu to was a small one with a brown, thatched roof and gray, stone walls. In front of this particular cottage stood two trees with what looked to be hand-made swing sets dangling from their branches, fastened with thick rope.
Walking up to the door with Tekatme close behind him, Rykatu gave the door a knock, preparing himself for the worst. Surely the father was not happy that his sons had been harmed by a dragon. He soon heard two sets of pounding footsteps.
When the door opened, all Rykatu saw was the interior of the cottage - until he looked down.
Two identical, red-haired boys blinked up at him with large eyes.
"Aw, you're not Mikani!" exclaimed one of the boys in disappointment, half-hanging off the door.
No, he was not, especially since he was not female-
"Are you Mikani's older sister?" asked the other boy hopefully with his hands clasped in front of him.
It was hard not to hear Tekatme's deafening laughter, but Rykatu didn't acknowledge his escort's amusement at the boys' wild guesses. He glanced over the boys, noting their bandages. One boy had his ankle wrapped. The other, his arm. They didn't look severely hurt. He turned the name "Mikani" over in his head. That must be the name of the young dragon involved in the incident. Mikani, where had he heard the name before?
"Nah, can't be," mused the first boy, "Her hair is blue! Not red!"
"Lord, you two are hilarious. This dude here," said Tekatme with a jerk of his thumb, "is the next-in-line of the dragon tribe. You two better get that straight. Don't want you provoking a dragon without even knowing what you've done!"
The boys' eyes grew wider and wider with each word Tekatme spoke. When he finished, the twins, without communicating with each other, both pounced forward at the same time.
Before he knew it, Rykatu had two boys hanging off him, one on his back and the other pulling his mantle down from the front. Thankfully, he managed to stop himself from reacting with his magic.
"A fully grown dragon!" exclaimed the boy on his back. "Can you transform? Why is your hair blue and not red like Mikani's? Is it because you're a boy? Are you really a boy?"
"Do you breathe fire? Can you fly? Mikani doesn't know how to fly very well yet! I wanted to apologize to her for making fun of her flying..." said the boy who was stretching out Rykatu's mantle.
"Do you...like dragons?" asked Rykatu finally after their barrage of questions. From what he had been told of the incident, he thought it had happened because of animosity between the human boys and the young dragon, but they sounded excited to see him. They didn't sound like they disliked dragons.
"Dragons are wicked cool!" exclaimed the boy that was still on Rykatu's back. "They can transform and everything!"
"Mikani is our friend. Of course we like dragons!" said the other twin with a tug on Rykatu's mantle.
As Rykatu pondered what this meant, he heard another set of footsteps, this one unhurried, from within the cottage.
"Boys, who was it at the- Oh man."
A middle-aged man - most likely the boys' father - stopped in the doorway, hands crossed. "Boys, get off that young man at once."
For some reason, Tekatme started laughing again. The man looked at Tekatme with raised eyebrows.
Instead of saying sorry, Tekatme jerked his head towards Rykatu. "Let me introduce this guy here again. Meet Rykatu. Next-in-line of the dragon tribe."
The man's eyes grew even wider than his sons' had been earlier on when they had learned of his identity. Tekatme seemed to be enjoying himself with shocking the family, saving Rykatu from having to introduce himself.
"May we come in?" asked Rykatu.
"Have a cup of tea. Ah, is tea okay?" asked the father hesitantly when he brought the cups and kettle over.
Rykatu inclined his head.
After he poured the tea, the father sat down. Both boys were at the table too, their elbows propped up, hands supporting their faces as they gazed at him curiously. Tekatme stood off to the side, leaning against the wall.
"I apologize for Mikani's behavior," Rykatu began, placing his tea cup down after taking a small sip. "She should have been more careful." Mikani. Now he recalled the name. That was the name of the youngest daughter of Kakane. She was an all right kid, unlike her greedy mother.
The father waved his hand in the air. "Nah, it was nothing! You know how kids are, always falling here and there with how roughly they play. They took a tumble from her back. It's just a sprained ankle and a small gash on the arm. They'll recover in no time."
"Lord, you had to come all the way to apologize for that? Seriously?" exclaimed Tekatme from off to the side, butting into the conversation without asking. His tone told Rykatu exactly what he thought about the matter.
Rykatu was wondering about that too. The father didn't sound concerned or angry, so who was it that had blown the matter out of proportions? And why hadn't Kakane taken care of things herself when it was her daughter who was involved? He took another sip of his tea. Perhaps he was thinking too much about this. If the father wasn't angry and the boys were fine, then he could take his leave without any worries.
"How'd you manage to play together anyway?" asked Tekatme. "I haven't seen or heard about dragons coming in from the northern gate."
"We snuck out!"
"She snuck in!"
Both boys covered their mouths once they spoke. "Oops, I don't think I should have said that," they said behind their hands.
The father snorted. "See, my boys are just at fault too."
Sneaking that far to play with friends was quite something. The forest alone would have been difficult to cross.
"Lord, I can't believe our defenses are so horrid that kids have been sneaking right past us! Just what have the other guards been doing?" exclaimed Tekatme. He shot Rykatu a look, even though Rykatu hadn't been about to make a comment or anything. "Lemme tell you that no one would've been able to sneak past my nose."
Ah, so Tekatme had wanted him to know that it hadn't happened on his watch. He did take his job seriously after all, or maybe he just didn't like considering he might have slipped up.
Rykatu placed his cup down and listened while the father made small talk. Here was a family that wholeheartedly accepted dragons, something Rykatu didn't think was possible. Perhaps one day the boys would grow out of their amazement, but perhaps they wouldn't, not with their father supporting them. It was strange that such a family had been involved with the dispute between Veline and the dragon tribe, though now Rykatu wondered what that had all been about.
After they finished their tea, the father gathered up their cups, his sons almost hanging off his arms while he tidied up. They were a close family. He found himself watching them and wondering.
What was his father like? Would he have been like this man who had constructed swing sets for his sons? Would he have looked at Rykatu as fondly as this man was looking at his sons and say, "Boys will be boys?"
He watched, and wondered.
Tekatme couldn't believe that kids had been sneaking in and out of the village without anyone's notice. Something fishy - ugh, fish, scratch that thought - something strange was going on, because he refused to believe that Veline's defense was that bad, as incompetent as some of the newbies were. He guessed he'd need to report this to his captain before he left on that lord forbidden trip to find Lady Tokara. Next time, it might not be merely kids who made a joke out of their guard system.
They bid the old guy and the two brats farewell, taking their leave from the homely little cottage that reminded Tekatme of his own home back in his village. He even remembered clambering for his old man's attention with his sister much like what these brats had done. His mind was still on Veline's pathetic defense, but now he was also stuck on how closely knit this family had felt.
Lord, now he was becoming sentimental. He was not a sentimental guy, no way. Tekatme glanced at Rykatu to see if he had noticed - he'd hate it if he had - but Tekatme soon saw that Rykatu was staring off into space, maybe lost in his own memories or something like that. Much too occupied to notice Tekatme's brief lapse of sanity.
When Rykatu turned towards him, maybe sensing Tekatme's gaze, Tekatme didn't look away. He just raised his eyebrows, questioning Rykatu about his thoughts.
Right. Like Rykatu would open up like that.
"Cute family, weren't they?" commented Tekatme. Ugh, cute. He couldn't believe he had used the word, but lord, those brats were adorable little maggots with their identical grins, clinging to Rykatu like that and mistaking him for a girl. It would have been better if Rykatu had even bothered to be affected, but nah, he'd just been his usual, apathetic self. It looked like only fire - and Tekatme's idiocy - could change the expression on Rykatu's face.
"Me and my sis were like that with our old man too," he continued. Lord, he really was being sentimental, blabbering about his family like this. "Lord was she annoying...my old man's such a coward too."
"Be glad..." came Rykatu's soft voice.
"Huh?" asked Tekatme, stopping in mid-rant. Rykatu had spoken, but he didn't deign to continue what he had started saying, and he'd already walked off, leaving no room for further inquiry.
Be glad? Why? Tekatme scratched at his bandages, and wondered.
When they returned to the central building, his captain was no longer there. Tekatme had expected it, since his captain was a guard and all, and had lots of supervision to do that required him to patrol all over the village.
"Shikatshi should still be here," Tekatme said. "You have business with him still?"
Rykatu inclined his head slightly. "A question, and an answer." He was looking straight ahead, that faraway gaze of his unusually focused. He looked like he was on a mission. Far be it for Tekatme to get in his way.
"So, so, have you decided to join us for dinner?" asked Shikatshi excitedly while rubbing his hands together. The guy was seriously a bundle of nerves. First of all, he talked way too quickly, and second of all - lord, there he was at it again - he always rubbed his hands together in his nervousness. The man was towering and his face could've been fierce, but the way he held himself dispelled any possibility of him coming off as a confident leader.
"No, I must decline," said Rykatu. "And, I have a question."
Tekatme figured Rykatu wouldn't want to stay for some fancy dinner. He didn't seem the type to socialize. In fact, he'd be downright terrible at it, unless everyone was fine with having a listener that was probably not paying you any attention. Rykatu surely wasn't going to be the one initiating conversations, not unless you had information to give him.
"How disappointing. I had so wished your decision would be a positive one," murmured Shikatshi while wringing his hands. "But a question, you say? Go on, go on. If it is something I can provide answers to, I will do my utmost to serve."
There it was again, Shikatshi's eagerness to please. It was a trait that other people could easily take advantage of. Not a good thing for Veline.
"Was the father the one who lodged a complaint?" asked Rykatu.
Huh? What was this about? Tekatme peered over at Rykatu. He had his eyes fixed on Shikatshi.
"A complaint, you say? Nothing of the sort! In fact, I do believe the dragon tribe sent word to us that there was something they needed to apologize for. Truly, a noble tribe!" exclaimed Shikatshi.
As Veline's second-in-command excitedly talked about the virtues of the dragon tribe, Tekatme saw Rykatu's face pale.
"Something wrong?" asked Tekatme.
"That's...all I needed to know," murmured Rykatu, eyes downcast. "Thank you. I'll be taking my leave now."
I am veeery tempted to start over from scratch. But the question would be... would the story turn out any better in its execution? Probably not... maybe I should go and edit what I have of Part 2 so far so that I don't meander farther and farther off track...
Hm, I really wanted this to be young adult, but I failed right away when my characters weren't even adolescents. A rewrite is looking more and more alluring. With me trying to stick to one POV, or at least not do alternating POVs in such a systematic order. I don't need to show their reactions to every single thing! *thinks about it* Haha...I would fail so hard.
no subject
Date: 2011-10-06 05:15 am (UTC)"Prince Rykatu would like to visit the boys who had gotten hurt, so could you please show him to their cottage, Tekatme"
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
"Sometimes, Rykatu wondered how it would feel to express himself without inhibitions much like what Tekatme seemed to do."
alskdjflkdsj Awwwwwwwwwwww.
"Some cottages had vegetable patches out front while others had trees, some bearing fruit."
...I'm hungry...
"Two identical, red-haired boys blinked up at him with large eyes."
XDDD Awwwwww.
"Are you Mikani's older sister?"
*wince and snicker* Oops.
""Can you transform? Why is your hair blue and not red like Mikani's? Is it because you're a boy? Are you really a boy?"
XDDDDD Poor Rykatu!
"Rykatu inclined his head."
Ahhhh, this. XDD
"They took a tumble from her back."
D:
"And why hadn't Kakane taken care of things herself when it was her daughter who was involved?"
Hmmmmmm. (XD)
"Here was a family that wholeheartedly accepted dragons, something Rykatu didn't think was possible."
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
"What was his father like? Would he have been like this man who had constructed swing sets for his sons? Would he have looked at Rykatu as fondly as this man was looking at his sons and say, "Boys will be boys?"
He watched, and wondered."
;____________________;
"Something fishy - ugh, fish, scratch that thought - something strange was going on,"
KLJFALKDSJF EEEEEEEEEEEE.
"Right. Like Rykatu would open up like that."
Haha, nope! XDD
"! In fact, I do believe the dragon tribe sent word to us that there was something they needed to apologize for"
adslkfjasdk eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Hmm. Having six characters in the one scene. D: And I think it would be a different story if you started with them all knowing each other? This plot about the dragons doing something in the background would probably be resolved if they were all together. Unless they were in a party to fix that, so it's set mid-way through the plot.
no subject
Date: 2011-10-07 12:06 am (UTC)"Sometimes, Rykatu wondered how it would feel to express himself without inhibitions much like what Tekatme seemed to do."
alskdjflkdsj Awwwwwwwwwwww.
...oh gosh, I seem to write this sort of thinking ALL THE TIME! I even had Judgment thinking something like this. XDDD;;
...I'm hungry...
XDDDD (not hungrier than Prince, surely?)
*wince and snicker* Oops.
Oops indeed. XD
"Rykatu inclined his head."
Ahhhh, this. XDD
Hahahaha. XDDDD I wonder how big "inclined" would show up on my word cloud.
Hmmmmmm. (XD)
*coughs* Trying to make the ending seem not as abrupt! XD;
It would be a different story indeed if they all somehow knew each other from the start. I realize I don't know the details behind each of their stories... writing it all out with last year's attempt was very hard since I've always imagined them already knowing each other... since the "main character" was an outsider who comes and ends up meeting them all and learning about them on her quest to find her brother. Rykatu, Ikatchi, Tekatme, Kitkatsune, and the other two whose names haven't been mentioned yet were all supporting characters... now they're all like main characters with their own stories that somehow don't fit together. XD;;; Now I need to somehow make it so that each part can stand alone... I think I might swap the POV for the third section. Maybe Tekatme will get another POV. XD;; It'd be easier to write...
That, and I just recycle the same characters over and over and put them in different situations... in one version, they were all thieves in a hideout. In another, they were all part of a secret hidden society of ability users. I don't know if I like this version that I settled on. XDD;; (Watch, it'll be like I'm writing fanfic of my own characters, pffft...)
no subject
Date: 2011-10-07 01:52 am (UTC)"...oh gosh, I seem to write this sort of thinking ALL THE TIME! I even had Judgment thinking something like this. XDDD;;"
So? :P Then you like writing about it. Like me and my outsider-fixation.
"XDDDD (not hungrier than Prince, surely?)"
At the moment I may be. If not, I will be in a couple of hours. lakdsjfa
"Hahahaha. XDDDD I wonder how big "inclined" would show up on my word cloud."
XDDDD
"they're all like main characters with their own stories that somehow don't fit together. XD;;;"
Well, Rykatu, Ikatchi and Kitkatsune have been introduced to each other. Oh! Would you be able to have Tekatme meet the two other people while he's trying to find Lady Tokara? And then you have two separate groups that can meet together later on! :D
"(Watch, it'll be like I'm writing fanfic of my own characters, pffft...)"
XDDD
no subject
Date: 2011-10-07 05:51 am (UTC)The problem is when I write pretty much the same exact sentence. XD; I noticed I wrote something like that in Part 1 of Bittersweet Sweetness, and then later on in another Judgment POV, so I changed the wording there.... but ahhhhh. *stares at Rykatu's thoughts here* I didn't know I wrote pretty much the same thing here. XD; Yeahhh, okay, so I must have some kind of fixation with this.
They're all supposed to meet at some point.
...in the 4th section of the story, hahahahaha. *dies*
*thinks and bursts out laughing*
Oh Tekatme... XD;;;