[Shaman King] Hoshi ga Hoshii desu * chapter 43: Shaman King

[lucathia]

Title: Hoshi - ga - Hoshii - desu
Chapter: 43/45

Author: lucathia_rykatu
Email: rykatu@yahoo.com
Series: Shaman King
Rating: PG
Genre: General
Feedback: will be highly appreciated
Spoilers: end of anime
Disclaimer: Shaman King belongs to its rightful owners (which does not include me!)
Archive: livejournal / fanfiction.net

Summary: "I want the stars" -- An amnesic Hao only remembers that the word "Hoshi" is special to him. Found unconscious in America, Hao takes on the name of Hoshi and eventually returns to Japan. This is his story after the anime.

-----chapter 43: Shaman King-----

Chirp. Chirp Chirp.

Eleven people sat around the rectangular dining table with quite comical expressions on their faces. Seven pairs of eyes stared in disbelief at the two men sitting at the end of the table. One pair of eyes was wide in confusion, and the last pair was raised in questioning.

That last pair belonged to Hoshi.

Hoshi had his eyebrow raised at the two men wearing cloaks, feathers and other fancy stuff. When the Oracle Bell had begun ringing, these two men had suddenly appeared at the doorstep of Funbari Onsens. Hoshi vaguely remembered seeing them in Shibuya...and the fact that they had come to Funbari Onsens could only mean that they had been stalking him. He was spot on in his reasoning. Right after these two men sat down, they told everyone their absurd reasoning for keeping an eye on him.

He found their reason hard to believe.

“Let me get this straight,” said Hoshi quietly. “You’re telling me that I’ve been chosen to become the Shaman King?”

Silva and Kalim both nodded resolutely.

There was a painful silence as those seated around the table were forced to take in the news now that it was confirmed.

Ren was the first to react. He slammed his hand down on the dining table, forcibly breaking the silence as the china plates tinkered dangerously near the edge.

“I so do not agree with that decision,” said Ren as calmly as he could, though his golden eyes were flashing. He pointed his finger at Hoshi. “He used to be a manipulative bastard. Okay, I know that he was the strongest shaman. But now he’s just a boy who lost his memory. How in the world did he get chosen as the next Shaman King when all he did differently in the past week was run away from home?”

Hoshi frowned at being pointed at accusingly, though he didn’t say anything in retort. He was wondering along the same lines, though he wouldn’t call himself a “manipulative bastard.”

Horo Horo nodded, completely agreeing with Ren’s words. Anna was fuming, wondering the same thing as well. Hoshi had stolen the position of Shaman King away from Yoh, throwing all of their hard training down the drain. She had even gone out of her way to make him come home! Yoh watched everything blankly, now that his initial shock had subsided. Anna was so going to scold him, as he had just lost his dream of becoming Shaman King and living a lazy life. Sora had her hands clenched in front of her, dreading where this conversation was heading. Tsuki stood behind her, not understanding what everyone meant by “Shaman King.” Tamao glanced worriedly at Yoh, wondering what he was thinking. Manta looked towards the table, wondering how a world governed by Hoshi would be.

“Yes,” said Silva, answering Hoshi’s question. He took a sip out of the tea cup that Sora had placed in front of him before continuing. “Actually, the decision about who was to be the next Shaman King was made last year.”

Anna frowned. “Impossible...if the decision was made last year, why didn't you announce it then instead of waiting until now? A year of delay is a bit too much.” A year of false hope, no less!

Silva shrugged. “The Great Spirits had chosen Hao as the Shaman King ever since Hao fought alongside the Great Spirits against all of you.”

Yoh blinked, remembering how the Spirit of Fire had devoured the Great Spirits. Hao had seemed undefeatable, yet Yoh had continued fighting against him. In the end, they had met in a large flash. Of course, he was oversimplifying their final battle, but when Hao had disappeared, he had thought that it was all over.

He was clearly wrong.

Silva continued. “After all, Hao was, and still is, the strongest shaman. The Great Spirits knows this, especially since the Spirit of Fire has been Hao’s companion for 500 years. The Spirit of Fire knows Hao’s strength very well.”

“But...” whispered Horo Horo in a strangled voice. “How can the Great Spirits accept a murderer as the caretaker of the entire world? I can’t imagine what he would have done to the koropokkuru. I bet he wouldn’t have cared about them!” Hoshi's eyebrow twitched. That blue-haired ainu was talking as if he wasn't even there.

Kalim smiled, making everyone jump back at the sudden expression on his stern face. “Good question.”

Silva sweatdropped but nodded. “Yes, good question. Well, the Great Spirits knows that as well, so the Great Spirits gave Hao a test. The Great Spirits would only accept him only if he passed the test.”

Hoshi glanced at Silva sharply, his discontent with Horo Horo flying out of his mind. His throat felt dry and constricted. His heart was having a hard time beating regularly.

It couldn't be...

Silva locked his eyes with Hoshi’s.

“The Great Spirits gave you another chance to prove that you can live a normal life just like everyone else. And so...”

Hoshi had an inkling where the conversation was heading, but he didn't want to believe it.

“...the Great Spirits took away your memory to test you.”

Silence.

Dropped jaws.

Wide eyes.

Those were the reactions of all the other people around the table, but for Hoshi, his reaction was different. He wasn't liking this conversation at all. He slowly shook his head in denial.

“That can’t be possible. I was the one who sealed away my own memories. I created a stupid barrier around my mind and messed up on it...that’s why...” Even as he was saying it, he knew how futile it sounded.

Silva shrugged. “That’s probably why you never gained your memories back, but that wasn’t the source of your amnesia.”

Hoshi laughed strangely, earning him confused and scared looks from a few of the people sitting around the table. He, who Ren had oh-so-nicely called a "manipulative bastard," had his memories stripped by the Great Spirits without his consent. He, who was the strongest shaman in the entire world, had his mind tweaked until he became a weak, confused boy who couldn't even remember his own name. What had he been living such a confused life for? He had thought that maybe his amnesia had come from regret or some kind of blunder that he made, but it turned out that it had all been the Great Spirits' doing! He had been manipulated, played as a pawn for the sake of the Great Spirits.

He turned icy eyes towards Silva, a dangerous smile adorning his face. “So? What makes you guys bring this up now?”

Silva rolled his eyes, clearly trying to ignore Hoshi's icy glare. “Now here’s the cheesy part. I’d rather not say it, but it’s my job, and Kalim doesn’t seem up to it.” Silva looked at Kalim disapprovingly before clearing his throat.

“Well, we’ve seen that you learned about familial love.” At this, Silva glanced in the direction of Sora and Tsuki. Hoshi followed Silva’s gaze, his smile slipping a bit.

“And you’ve gained a few friends.” Silva nodded his head in Manta’s direction. When Hoshi glanced in Manta's direction, the short boy held his stare firmly. Hoshi found out that he couldn't direct his glare at Manta. It wasn't Manta who he was angry with.

“You now have a loyal spirit who follows you willingly, who is more a friend than a servant.” Hoshisuke mewed, floating around Hoshi. The small orange cat nudged Hoshi's hand until Hoshi looked down, his eyes softening. He began scratching behind Hoshisuke's ears.

“Your enemies have begun to accept you.” Anna, Horo Horo, and Ren all looked away quickly, refusing to admit that in front of everyone. Hoshi almost wanted to chuckle at their actions.

“You’ve begun to question your old beliefs...”

Hoshi thought back to Shibuya, to how he wandered around the streets, searching for an answer to his own question.

“And you have started to trust,” ended Silva.

Hoshi blinked. Had he? Had he started to trust?

Hoshi glanced in Sora’s direction, his eyes trailing towards Tsuki who was clutching Sora’s apron. His eyes strayed towards Yoh, who gave a tentative smile.

He realized suddenly, that he trusted these three people more than anything. He knew why he trusted Sora and Tsuki. It hadn’t been something that came to him easily. It had taken him months to learn to trust his two caring family members. But Yoh...he had just met Yoh...yet he trusted him immediately.

Maybe it was because...

He had truly learned how to trust.

Was that why his mind was free of other people's thoughts at the moment?

Was he supposed to feel thankful to the Great Spirits for taking away his memory and giving him the chance to learn how to trust instead?

Hoshi glanced back at Silva, who still had more to say.

“The Great Spirits deem you suitable to become the Shaman King.”

“You have passed.”

-----0-----

The shamans from all over the world continued staring in disbelief at what was showing up on their Oracle Bell.

“The Shaman King as been chosen.”

They continued scrolling.

“He is known as Asakura Hoshi.”

When everyone began cursing and wondering who the heck Hoshi was, more words appeared on the Oracle Bell.

“Please press Z to change to the description screen if you do not know who Asakura Hoshi is and why he has been chosen to become Shaman King.”

They fumbled to find the Z button. When they found it, they pressed it hurriedly.

Many of them dropped their Oracle Bells in shock when they read that Asakura Hoshi was whom they had known as “Hao.”

Was their world coming to an end?

The few shamans who bothered to read to the end of the description knew otherwise, even though they were skeptical of what the Oracle Bell claimed. Hao was now a changed person? Yeah right!

Many of them ripped out some paper and started writing letters of complaints furiously. Others grabbed their phones and tried dialing the hotline for Patch, after finding the number on their Oracle Bells.

-----0-----

Hoshi felt numb. He remembered waking up under the dark night sky, unable to move, unable to speak. He had no idea who he was, and all he could see were the dots of light in the sky. If Sora and Tsuki hadn't found him, he would probably have just frozen to death or something. He remembered the time he spent with Tsuki playing around in the fields, and how Sora always called them in for dinner. He remembered their plane flight back to Japan and how he went to cram school and met Manta. He remembered those dreams about Tsuki's older brother, always reminding him that Hoshi wasn't his true name or identity. He remembered disovering his true name, discovering his past, and running away to Shibuya. He remembered meeting Macchi there, wondering if perhaps his old companions could enlighten him about what to believe in. He remembered Anna confronting him, telling him to trust, implying that he should return back to Sora and Tsuki. He remembered going back to Sora's rented house, only to see that she had left him a note there, telling him to find her at Funbari Onsens. He remembered tucking Tsuki in and walking with Yoh to his room. He remembered hearing the Oracle Bell ring...

Had everything that had happened to him in the past year only been a test?

He gazed at Sora, noticing her glistening eyes.

“Okaasan...” whispered Hoshi. The word escaped his lips before he could stop himself.

Sora blinked her eyes, smiling falteringly. “You’re still calling me okaasan...I’m so happy.”

Hoshi smiled in relief. “Of course I’m calling you okaasan. I'm the one who is happy that you are still willing to think of me as your son.”

Sora nodded, unable to speak. She closed her eyes, willing herself to get a grip of her wavering emotions. When she felt that she had them under control, she opened her eyes to look at Hoshi.

“You’re going to leave us again, aren’t you?”

Hoshi's eyes widened at Sora's words. Tsuki, who had been holding his mother’s hand, broke out of her grip and clung to Hoshi instead.

“Hoshi-niichan, what does ‘kaachan mean? You can’t be leaving! You just came back!”

"...I," Hoshi didn't know what to say. Did Sora want him to leave?

Sora stepped closer to him, grasping hold of his hand.

"It's a great honor to become the Shaman King. It's a great honor to be able to take care of the entire world. You would be a wonderful Shaman King. I...I'm thankful that the Great Spirits gave me a chance to know you." After she said those words, she reluctantly let go of his hands.

Hoshi gulped. What she said was true...if it hadn't been for the Great Spirits' stupid test, he would never have met Sora or Tsuki.

Hoshi looked down at Tsuki, slowly kneeling down to his height.

“Becoming the Shaman King means that I have to go to America," started Hoshi slowly. "And then...I’ll have a lot of responsibilities. I don’t know when I can be back.”

Tsuki frowned.

“Then don’t become Shaman King!”

The other shamans in the room frowned at Tsuki’s outrageous suggestion. Who in their right minds would refuse to become Shaman King?

Hoshi shook his head sadly.

Despite his heart clenching at the betrayed look on Tsuki’s face, Hoshi felt that he had to become Shaman King. He didn't know why he suddenly felt that he had to become the Shaman King. Was it because of some twisted reward he thought he ought to have as compensation for having his life manipulated? Was it because of some hidden desire to protect the world or something equally heroic? Was it his old memories threatening to resurface, making him remember his old goal of becoming the Shaman King? Was it because he felt an obligation to all of the people that he had murdered before? Was it because of Sora's pride in him, and her utter trust that he would be a good Shaman King? Or was it because he wanted to repay the Great Spirits for letting him meet Sora and Tsuki? Whatever the reason...he was going to become the Shaman King.

Tsuki pushed Hoshi away from him.

“I don’t understand...I don’t even know what the Shaman King is. What’s a shaman anyway?”

Hoshi smiled slightly, thinking back about his stay with Sora and Tsuki in America.

“Remember that time when I saved you from falling off the tree?”

Tsuki’s eyes widened.

“Well, I could do that because I’m a shaman.”

Even though Tsuki didn’t understand everything or anything that was going on, he grabbed his Hoshi-niichan and sobbed into his shirt.

-----0-----

After he said his goodbyes to Sora and Tsuki, Hoshi headed out with Silva and Kalim. The faster he went, the better.

However, Yoh stopped him at the door.

“I have something to say to you.”

Silva and Kalim discreetly gave them their privacy. They walked further down the path, out of hearing range.

“What am I to you?” asked Yoh bluntly.

Yoh knew. He was Hoshi’s brother, yet he wasn’t. It was ironic that Tsuki would always be more of a brother to Hoshi than he ever would. While he loved the little boy as much as anyone else, he couldn’t help but feel a bit left out.

Hoshi smiled at Yoh’s apprehension.

“Silly Yoh.”

Yoh blinked. He was silly?

Hoshi was in the act of pulling his hair into a ponytail as he said his next words.

“Why, you’re me, of course."

Yoh’s eyes widened. Hoshi’s words felt like something Hao would have said. Hoshi continued speaking, regardless of Yoh’s surprise.

“You will look after Sora and Tsuki for me, won’t you?”

Yoh nodded slowly, before saying his next words. “Of course...but..."

Hoshi’s smile widened.

“I'm not asking you to be a replacement. I just wanted to make sure that someone would be looking after them. And...”

Yoh looked up, wondering why Hoshi paused.

“...I just want you to be able to experience the life I wish I could lead,” finished Hoshi

With that, Hoshi smiled wryly before walking away.

Yoh stared at Hoshi’s retreating figure.

Farewells were always the hardest. He didn’t like them at all. He felt bad for feeling this way, but he was actually glad that he hadn’t become Shaman King. Despite his lost dream...despite Anna’s disappointment...he actually liked his life the way it was now.

He looked at the open door, now void of Hoshi.

He realized that being the Shaman King was a lonely job.

-----to be continued-----

next chapter: Patch