lucathia

Title: Hoshi - ga - Hoshii - desu
Chapter: 39/45

Author:

lucathia_rykatu
Email: rykatu@yahoo.com
Series: Shaman King
Rating: PG
Genre: General
Feedback: will be highly appreciated
Spoilers: end of anime
Disclaimer: Shaman King belongs to its rightful owners (which does not include me!)
Archive: livejournal / fanfiction.net

Summary: "I want the stars" -- An amnesic Hao only remembers that the word "Hoshi" is special to him. Found unconscious in America, Hao takes on the name of Hoshi and eventually returns to Japan. This is his story after the anime.

-----chapter 39: to trust-----

Yoh sat down in an empty seat in one of the compartments. He was lucky to have found a seat, for the compartment was pretty full. It was a seat next to the window too. He leaned against the window, looking out of it through the side of his eye. He couldn’t make out the scenery. The dark landscape was passing by in a blur.

Only two days ago, his brother had taken this very same trip.

His heart skipped a beat.

It was very likely that his brother was still in Shibuya.

Yoh certainly hoped that he was.

If he wasn’t, then what was he supposed to do? Where else was he supposed to look?

The combined efforts of the loud clickety-clack of the subway train and the blasting music that was playing through his headphones didn’t serve to drown out his anticipation.

All he could do right now was wait.

The ride was agonizingly slow.

-----0-----

After the disappointing phone call with Kanna, Hoshi hadn’t bothered to stay at Macchi’s apartment.

Kanna actually hung up on him. Both her and Macchi had given him no answers.

When he arrived back in the overly-priced room that he had rented for the day, he grabbed the closest thing he could. It turned out to be a pillow, and good thing it was a pillow, or else it would have shattered or broken when he threw it against the wall. Since it was a pillow, all it did was hit the wall with a poof and fall down unharmed.

Exasperated, he threw himself onto the bed, bouncing slightly on the mattress. He stared at the ceiling, his arms spread out.

The lamplight in the corner of the room flickered.

He closed his eyes, lying on top of his covers without turning the light still off.

The light was piercing. It was making him wince even though his eyes were closed.

He raised his hand to his face, trying to block out the blinding light.

It didn’t work.

He cracked open his eyes slightly, searching for the light’s source.

Black spots were appearing over his vision for daring to stare directly at such a blinding light, but there was something there that he was sure wasn’t a result of his eyes playing tricks on him. He could make out a black shape that was silhouetted against the light.

A person.

Him AGAIN.

The first time he appeared, he had thrown him into a sea of confusion, making him realize that he was actually a murderer of his own kin. The second time that he had appeared, he had led him straight to questioning his old beliefs and his old followers. What was he going to do this time?

Hoshi approached the dark-haired figure, cropped right below his ears, wondering if he could talk. The last time, it felt horrible not being able to speak or hear anything. It had felt as if he were watching an old, silent movie.

He opened his mouth to address the taller boy.

“Hoshi.”

He smiled a bit wryly, glad that he could talk.

“Hoshi, Tsuki’s brother by blood, what the heck are you doing in my dream again?” His eyes flashed. He was determined not to be led around foolishly.

The figure turned around, scowling. The blinding light sprayed around him, making the dark figure appear ironically heavenly.

“I don’t approve of you,” said the other Hoshi. “I don’t know why they chose you, but it’s a fact that they did. And here you are, shirking your duties.”

“My...duties?” whispered Hoshi.

The other Hoshi turned back towards the light, which seemed as if it were about to pull him in.

“Yes, go back to your damn duties!”

His eyes snapped open.

When had he fallen asleep?

Hoshi blinked, looking around the empty hotel room. When his eyes landed on the cheerful lamp light, he walked over and forcibly shut it off.

His hand trailing over the cold metal of the lamp, he wondered what the other Hoshi was trying to tell him. His duties? That other Hoshi really liked to throw him troubling questions.

For the entire day, Hoshi took to wandering around Shibuya. In the morning, he wandered among the crowd. The thoughts of the mobs of people threatened to overwhelm him, but he continued wandering nonetheless. He glanced at the various stores and walked about the various stands and stalls around the streets. He even wandered over to two weird men who were selling hand-made crafts. The way they dressed had been strange, so Hoshi couldn’t help but notice them. When one of them had asked him “Shouldn’t you be in school?” he immediately remembered Manta suggesting that he should go to middle school, just like him. School probably already started for Manta then. Even though Hoshi had decided to go to middle school as Manta suggested...here he was, wandering about the streets instead of attending school as he had planned.

In the afternoon, he continued to wander. But, no matter where he wandered to, he avoided the restaurant that specialized in kabocha.

In the evening, he continued to wander. He finally stopped wandering when he noticed that the lights were becoming dimmer. His feet had unconsciously brought him out of the main crowds.

Standing on the secluded riverbank, Asakura Hoshi plopped down tiredly and gazed up at the flickering stars.

He slept there that night, and somehow was not plagued by dreams. It was strangely comforting knowing that the wide expanse of night sky was overlooking him.

When he awoke the next day, he gave up on wandering. He was tired, and staying on the riverbank under the warm sun felt so comfortable. He just lay there on the soft grass, slightly wet from the morning dew. The river created a soft, soothing melody, its waters flowing gracefully. People walked by him, but none paid him any attention. The day easily turned into night, and he was content watching the stars appear. His stomach grumbled and protested at being denied food, but that didn’t matter at all.

Asakura Hoshi was surprised when someone finally disrupted his peace. Soft footsteps from his left were the only things that warned him of that person’s approach.

Other than the footsteps and the faraway murmuring from the streets, the night was strangely silent.

What was missing?

At first, he thought that the pair of feet would leave and continue past him, as all other pairs of feet had done earlier that day. But when no more footsteps followed, he knew that they had stopped right next to him. The pair of feet hadn’t left.

He finally glanced to his left.

It was a girl with long blond hair wearing a sleeveless black dress despite the cold.

Her face was fixed in a frown, her eyes sharp and challenging. She reminded him a bit of Macchi, just without her exuberance and fanaticism (with kabocha). And she looked as if she were utterly pissed off.

He suddenly discovered what was missing from the night.

It was strangely silent...because he couldn’t hear her thoughts.

“Asakura Hoshi. Or is it Asakura Hao again?” asked the girl.

Hoshi narrowed his eyes. So this blond-haired girl wasn’t just some stranger who had stumbled upon his hideaway? She actually came looking for him?

“Who are you?”

She wasn’t one of the girls who had appeared in his dreams, yet now that Hoshi had studied her appearance for a while, she seemed oddly familiar. She must have known him before he lost his memory.

The girl stiffened before relaxing.

“So you haven’t remembered everything then. I thought you had regained your memory.”

Hoshi shook his head slowly.

“Only bits and pieces, not enough to place a name to anything. I only remember enough to make me confused. But that’s not important. What’s important is, who are you? And why...”

Hoshi paused as he glared at the girl.

“Why can’t I hear your thoughts?”

The girl stared back at him calmly.

“So you can hear thoughts still?” She didn’t wait for Hoshi to answer. “I’m Kyoyama Anna, but I doubt that giving you my name will ring any bells if you don’t remember me at all.”

“No, your name doesn’t help.”

“Why are you here?” asked Anna suddenly.

Hoshi rolled his eyes as he averted his attention away from the mysterious girl. “Not answering my question are you? Fine, I’ll tell you a bit more about myself then.”

He gazed back at the sky. Why was he being so lenient with her? He shrugged inwardly before he barged on with his next words.

“Those lights back there obscure most of the sky. It makes the stars hard to see. Lying here, under the starry sky, makes sorting out my thoughts much easier. My power to hear thoughts, I assume that you know about it since you didn’t go ballistic when I asked you that question before, has only crowded my mind with unwanted thoughts. I’ve been so overwhelmed by those thoughts that it made it hard for me to remember what thoughts were my own. It’s much more comfortable here.”

Anna remained silent.

Hoshi tore his gaze from the stars once again.

“I met a young man in the Subway two days ago. I couldn’t hear his thoughts because he wasn’t thinking about anything. But I don’t think that’s the case with you because you came looking for me. You must be thinking about something at least, so why can’t I hear your thoughts?”

When Hoshi turned towards Anna with a prodding look, she hesitated, wondering if her next words were going to make him burst out laughing. Nevertheless, she threw her silly fear away and ventured forth with what she felt she had to say.

“It’s because of trust.”

Hoshi’s eyebrow quirked up.

“Trust? I don’t see how that has anything to do with-”

“Once you trust, you have no need of the power anymore,” interrupted Anna. She held his gaze squarely, daring him to challenge her words. She wanted to wipe the disbelief off of his face. “I had a similar power to yours and I hated it. But Yoh came into my life. He made me understand what trusting meant. And that’s when my power faded away. I no longer needed it.”

Anna continued. “Why don’t you try to stop doubting everyone? Try to trust. Think that the cup is half full instead of half empty.”

“The rest is up to you.”

Anna shut up abruptly and fled from Hoshi’s view, feeling a bit dazed that she had poured her heart out in front of who used to be her deadliest enemy. She usually wasn’t even this open with Yoh!

Would her words affect him at all?

At least she restrained herself from slapping him.

Meanwhile, the announcer announced that the train had just pulled into the Shibuya station.

The train stopped, and Yoh stepped off the platform into Shibuya.

-----to be continued-----

next chapter: his choice