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lucathiaI didn't get much writing done in November! Was very far from reaching 50k. Anyway, my yearly goal is 150k. I'm at ~110k at the moment, so 40k to go... Not very likely to finish, ahhhh. I'm leaving the country on a trip for the last two weeks of December, so I won't be posting any writing during those days. Which means... I have to finish before leaving! Yeaaah, not likely. Welp, here, have a oneshot.
Title: Illuminate My Path
Fandom: The Legend of Sun Knight
Words: 1,704
Summary: He was everywhere. And nowhere. As if he hadn't left. As if this was just another one of his disappearing acts. But it wasn't. Some Lesus introspection set during the end of V7, beginning of V8.
Notes: This took much too long to write despite being so short and aimless. :'D
When Storm, Metal, Moon, Hell, and Tyler returned from the Kingdom of Kissinger, Sun was not among them. The Hell Knight Platoon happily welcomed their captain and vice-captain back while the Sun Knight Platoon stood rooted to the spot. Adair's face was beyond pale.
I wondered what kind of expression I had.
It should have been a happy occasion. We should have all been happy. The world was no longer in danger of being engulfed by the dark element. The other kingdoms and churches were no longer pressuring us. Our own kingdom could now turn toward rebuilding. The matter of the Demon King had been... taken care of.
But even as I watched the hell knights salute their captain, even as I tried to tell myself that the citizens could finally return to their normal lives, I could not bring myself to feel the least bit happy.
Supposedly, we were now free from the darkness that had taken over all of our lives. The lands of darkness would no longer spread as long as the Demon King kept the dark element in check.
Yet, my path had grown darker than ever. All I could see was darkness closing in on me
There was not a shred of light illuminating my path. The light that had always guided my way and prevented me from falling into the darkness was now lost.
The world had been saved.
But in the process, we had lost Sun.
Was it worth it?
If the world could only be saved by forcing a person to unwillingly take a role he refused, was it worth it? He hadn't wanted to become the Demon King... yet...
I clenched my fists, face hardening as I recalled the last I'd seen of Grisia, of his completely darkened eyes and his uncaring attitude. The golden sparkle in his eyes had disappeared without a trace along with his regard for his position.
To think that Sun would demean Metal, one of his brothers. To think that Sun would demand that we stop calling him Sun, that he would claim that he was not the first generation Sun Knight, that he did not care for the facades we had striven to uphold all these years.
That wasn't Sun.
Grisia, like you said, we aren't the first generation Twelve Holy Knights. Of course we're not. But you've always told me...
You've always told me...
Don't you remember?
Eventually, I had knelt down to pick up the broken pieces of the conference table. Ice and Stone had both fallen completely silent behind me, as if afraid to speak with me. In silence, I picked up piece after piece after piece of our destroyed normality. My hands no longer held the Divine Judgment Sword, nor did they hold the Divine Sun Sword that had been discarded without a care, just like what he'd done with the rest of his ties. Instead, all I held were tenuous bonds forever fissured.
I held the rough but brittle fragments in my hands, head bowed, side aching.
Eventually, Ice and Stone moved forward and helped me pick up the pieces even though they should not and did not have to pick up after me. Only then did I realize that it wasn't that they were afraid to speak with me.
I looked up.
Ice's face was a far cry from the expressionless one an Ice Knight should have. Stone looked more like a lost boy than the diplomatic Stone Knight.
Like me, they were so overcome with emotion, so completely thrown off center, that there were simply no words that could even be formed.
They stayed by my side in silent support as we painstakingly gathered the remnants together.
He was everywhere even when he was not.
His seat had nearly always been empty, both in the conference room and at the breakfast table, and this time was no different. It was almost as if he wasn't gone, as if he might walk through the door at any moment with a bright and brilliant smile.
I could not stop myself from thinking that I might catch sight of long, blond hair and sky blue eyes at each corner I turned, that I might be pestered to buy blueberry pies or fetch him sweets from Ice, his request repeated over and over and over until I would finally relent.
While eating, my hand would freeze over desserts before I would recall that even if I took them with me, there would be no one to eat them. Yet I still found myself taking a blueberry muffin.
I would pass by windows along the corridors and wonder if the chirping birds outside were white. I would see him gazing at what he could no longer see, at what he had given up. How I had wanted to shake him then, to wake him up from his nonchalance, from his lack of care for himself, but I had already been too late.
Too late. I was always too late.
Even the mere act of waking up brought forth echoes of his complaints of mornings that were too early, but then I would see gold fading into white and feel the dawning horror once again.
I forced myself to walk on. He wasn't here. The bottles and jars in his room had a thin layer of dust on them. He wasn't here. No one touched a single thing inside, leaving the room exactly as it was. He wasn't here, and that was wrong.
All I did was place the Divine Sun Sword in the room, unable to bear the thought of the divine sword without its owner. As I studied the jars, wondering if they would mix together to produce a pink or a green mask, my attention drifted toward the door, recalling how he often grumbled over always being disturbed whenever he applied his facial masks.
Disturbances, huh?
We were all lost without his disturbances.
There was no longer anyone to disturb Earth from taking clerics back to his room, to toss paperwork at Storm, to bother Ice for super sweet sweets, to make Stone show his stubborn side, to drag Cloud out for small favors.
No one for Leaf to ask for multiple strands of hair, for Moon to commiserate together over girlfriends, for Blaze to worship, for Hell to shadow, for Metal to bad-mouth.
Earth had even stopped bringing clerics to his room. Storm had even asked me for more paperwork. They all worried me, but Leaf worried me the most. Blindness had been a crucial deciding factor in his decision. Nowadays, Leaf could not bring himself to look up. His eyes were always trained on the floor, as if he wished he could not see.
Hell too could not stop remorse from coloring his every action. He would walk by the bathroom and pause, possibly recalling how he had shadowed him everywhere, even to the bathroom.
He was everywhere. And nowhere.
Just as if he hadn't left.
Just as if he was merely pulling off another of his disappearing acts.
Cold water sloshed over my hands. I splashed some water on my face and closed my eyes. Behind me, I'd placed the blueberry muffin. Two stools were by my feet. I'd brought them myself.
Maybe I should have gotten pie. He would have liked that.
Water dripped down my face.
No matter how long I waited, there was no one to disturb me either.
We did not choose a stand-in for him.
How could we, when his presence was so palpable?
I did not have his cunning.
I was not him.
No matter how much he claimed that I was just like a tapeworm living in his stomach, I was not him. I did not know exactly what he was thinking, but I had a hunch. I had a hunch that he wasn't thinking. Even if my hunch was wrong, I wanted to believe in it.
I wanted to believe that he could count on me.
Did I know what I was doing?
No.
Did I know if he wanted to return?
I wouldn't let myself think otherwise.
I did not have his cunning.
I would have to place myself in his shoes, to test if I truly knew him, to think several steps ahead of him, or else I would fail.
I gazed up at the Symbol of Light in the prayer room, the very symbol I always had my back turned to. Darkness was all around me. I was without guidance, without anyone to tell me what to do. I thought I might be lost with only broken fragments scattered by my feet, but there was only one path forward no matter how dark or difficult this path might be.
Amidst the darkness of the prayer room, pale moonlight from the window illuminated the Symbol of Light.
Even here, I could feel his presence.
"Even if they are facing the darkness with their backs to the light, holy knights still walk under the light, not the darkness!"
These words of his had allowed me to carry out my duties all these years.
Did you know, Grisia, that the same words apply to you?
Grisia once claimed that it was precisely because I sacrificed my chance to face the light that Leaf Bud City could exist so peacefully. But what was my sacrifice compared to Grisia's?
Did you know, Grisia, that I wish you could be more selfish?
Grisia, even if I fell into the darkness, you would drag me back. In fact, you've done so many, many times already.
Each time he kept me company in the bathroom.
Each time he teased me for sighing.
Each time he made me smile.
Countless times.
Grisia, did you know I would do the same for you?
I was not him. I did not have his cunning, his ability to solve problems. I did not have his affability, his ability to bring us together. I did not have his brightness, his ability to charm each and every one of us. I was not him. I could not brighten his path with absolute clarity like the sun, leaving not an inch of doubt, but I would die trying if I must to illuminate his path in whatever way I can. Even just a sliver of light within the darkness, like the moon's rays on a dark, stormy night, even that would be enough.
If he did not remember, if he refused to remember, I will remind him. These are our bonds. This is the path we chose. The pieces might be scattered, but we'll come out stronger for it.
I'll guide you back. I promise.
the end
What a disjointed fic. XD; I tend to like writing... Lesus... moping around and doubting himself? But while V7/V8 Lesus does not feel comfortable without Grisia around, he doesn't spend time moping around at all. He immediately decides that they're going to bring the Sun Knight back. So, unlike my other Lesus fics, he doesn't mope around as much here. XD; (He still does though)
Title: Illuminate My Path
Fandom: The Legend of Sun Knight
Words: 1,704
Summary: He was everywhere. And nowhere. As if he hadn't left. As if this was just another one of his disappearing acts. But it wasn't. Some Lesus introspection set during the end of V7, beginning of V8.
Notes: This took much too long to write despite being so short and aimless. :'D
Illuminate My Path
When Storm, Metal, Moon, Hell, and Tyler returned from the Kingdom of Kissinger, Sun was not among them. The Hell Knight Platoon happily welcomed their captain and vice-captain back while the Sun Knight Platoon stood rooted to the spot. Adair's face was beyond pale.
I wondered what kind of expression I had.
It should have been a happy occasion. We should have all been happy. The world was no longer in danger of being engulfed by the dark element. The other kingdoms and churches were no longer pressuring us. Our own kingdom could now turn toward rebuilding. The matter of the Demon King had been... taken care of.
But even as I watched the hell knights salute their captain, even as I tried to tell myself that the citizens could finally return to their normal lives, I could not bring myself to feel the least bit happy.
Supposedly, we were now free from the darkness that had taken over all of our lives. The lands of darkness would no longer spread as long as the Demon King kept the dark element in check.
Yet, my path had grown darker than ever. All I could see was darkness closing in on me
There was not a shred of light illuminating my path. The light that had always guided my way and prevented me from falling into the darkness was now lost.
The world had been saved.
But in the process, we had lost Sun.
Was it worth it?
If the world could only be saved by forcing a person to unwillingly take a role he refused, was it worth it? He hadn't wanted to become the Demon King... yet...
I clenched my fists, face hardening as I recalled the last I'd seen of Grisia, of his completely darkened eyes and his uncaring attitude. The golden sparkle in his eyes had disappeared without a trace along with his regard for his position.
To think that Sun would demean Metal, one of his brothers. To think that Sun would demand that we stop calling him Sun, that he would claim that he was not the first generation Sun Knight, that he did not care for the facades we had striven to uphold all these years.
That wasn't Sun.
Grisia, like you said, we aren't the first generation Twelve Holy Knights. Of course we're not. But you've always told me...
You've always told me...
Don't you remember?
Eventually, I had knelt down to pick up the broken pieces of the conference table. Ice and Stone had both fallen completely silent behind me, as if afraid to speak with me. In silence, I picked up piece after piece after piece of our destroyed normality. My hands no longer held the Divine Judgment Sword, nor did they hold the Divine Sun Sword that had been discarded without a care, just like what he'd done with the rest of his ties. Instead, all I held were tenuous bonds forever fissured.
I held the rough but brittle fragments in my hands, head bowed, side aching.
Eventually, Ice and Stone moved forward and helped me pick up the pieces even though they should not and did not have to pick up after me. Only then did I realize that it wasn't that they were afraid to speak with me.
I looked up.
Ice's face was a far cry from the expressionless one an Ice Knight should have. Stone looked more like a lost boy than the diplomatic Stone Knight.
Like me, they were so overcome with emotion, so completely thrown off center, that there were simply no words that could even be formed.
They stayed by my side in silent support as we painstakingly gathered the remnants together.
He was everywhere even when he was not.
His seat had nearly always been empty, both in the conference room and at the breakfast table, and this time was no different. It was almost as if he wasn't gone, as if he might walk through the door at any moment with a bright and brilliant smile.
I could not stop myself from thinking that I might catch sight of long, blond hair and sky blue eyes at each corner I turned, that I might be pestered to buy blueberry pies or fetch him sweets from Ice, his request repeated over and over and over until I would finally relent.
While eating, my hand would freeze over desserts before I would recall that even if I took them with me, there would be no one to eat them. Yet I still found myself taking a blueberry muffin.
I would pass by windows along the corridors and wonder if the chirping birds outside were white. I would see him gazing at what he could no longer see, at what he had given up. How I had wanted to shake him then, to wake him up from his nonchalance, from his lack of care for himself, but I had already been too late.
Too late. I was always too late.
Even the mere act of waking up brought forth echoes of his complaints of mornings that were too early, but then I would see gold fading into white and feel the dawning horror once again.
I forced myself to walk on. He wasn't here. The bottles and jars in his room had a thin layer of dust on them. He wasn't here. No one touched a single thing inside, leaving the room exactly as it was. He wasn't here, and that was wrong.
All I did was place the Divine Sun Sword in the room, unable to bear the thought of the divine sword without its owner. As I studied the jars, wondering if they would mix together to produce a pink or a green mask, my attention drifted toward the door, recalling how he often grumbled over always being disturbed whenever he applied his facial masks.
Disturbances, huh?
We were all lost without his disturbances.
There was no longer anyone to disturb Earth from taking clerics back to his room, to toss paperwork at Storm, to bother Ice for super sweet sweets, to make Stone show his stubborn side, to drag Cloud out for small favors.
No one for Leaf to ask for multiple strands of hair, for Moon to commiserate together over girlfriends, for Blaze to worship, for Hell to shadow, for Metal to bad-mouth.
Earth had even stopped bringing clerics to his room. Storm had even asked me for more paperwork. They all worried me, but Leaf worried me the most. Blindness had been a crucial deciding factor in his decision. Nowadays, Leaf could not bring himself to look up. His eyes were always trained on the floor, as if he wished he could not see.
Hell too could not stop remorse from coloring his every action. He would walk by the bathroom and pause, possibly recalling how he had shadowed him everywhere, even to the bathroom.
He was everywhere. And nowhere.
Just as if he hadn't left.
Just as if he was merely pulling off another of his disappearing acts.
Cold water sloshed over my hands. I splashed some water on my face and closed my eyes. Behind me, I'd placed the blueberry muffin. Two stools were by my feet. I'd brought them myself.
Maybe I should have gotten pie. He would have liked that.
Water dripped down my face.
No matter how long I waited, there was no one to disturb me either.
We did not choose a stand-in for him.
How could we, when his presence was so palpable?
I did not have his cunning.
I was not him.
No matter how much he claimed that I was just like a tapeworm living in his stomach, I was not him. I did not know exactly what he was thinking, but I had a hunch. I had a hunch that he wasn't thinking. Even if my hunch was wrong, I wanted to believe in it.
I wanted to believe that he could count on me.
Did I know what I was doing?
No.
Did I know if he wanted to return?
I wouldn't let myself think otherwise.
I did not have his cunning.
I would have to place myself in his shoes, to test if I truly knew him, to think several steps ahead of him, or else I would fail.
I gazed up at the Symbol of Light in the prayer room, the very symbol I always had my back turned to. Darkness was all around me. I was without guidance, without anyone to tell me what to do. I thought I might be lost with only broken fragments scattered by my feet, but there was only one path forward no matter how dark or difficult this path might be.
Amidst the darkness of the prayer room, pale moonlight from the window illuminated the Symbol of Light.
Even here, I could feel his presence.
"Even if they are facing the darkness with their backs to the light, holy knights still walk under the light, not the darkness!"
These words of his had allowed me to carry out my duties all these years.
Did you know, Grisia, that the same words apply to you?
Grisia once claimed that it was precisely because I sacrificed my chance to face the light that Leaf Bud City could exist so peacefully. But what was my sacrifice compared to Grisia's?
Did you know, Grisia, that I wish you could be more selfish?
Grisia, even if I fell into the darkness, you would drag me back. In fact, you've done so many, many times already.
Each time he kept me company in the bathroom.
Each time he teased me for sighing.
Each time he made me smile.
Countless times.
Grisia, did you know I would do the same for you?
I was not him. I did not have his cunning, his ability to solve problems. I did not have his affability, his ability to bring us together. I did not have his brightness, his ability to charm each and every one of us. I was not him. I could not brighten his path with absolute clarity like the sun, leaving not an inch of doubt, but I would die trying if I must to illuminate his path in whatever way I can. Even just a sliver of light within the darkness, like the moon's rays on a dark, stormy night, even that would be enough.
If he did not remember, if he refused to remember, I will remind him. These are our bonds. This is the path we chose. The pieces might be scattered, but we'll come out stronger for it.
I'll guide you back. I promise.
the end
What a disjointed fic. XD; I tend to like writing... Lesus... moping around and doubting himself? But while V7/V8 Lesus does not feel comfortable without Grisia around, he doesn't spend time moping around at all. He immediately decides that they're going to bring the Sun Knight back. So, unlike my other Lesus fics, he doesn't mope around as much here. XD; (He still does though)
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SOBS on your fACE
Date: 2014-12-06 09:11 pm (UTC)CONGRATS YOU MADE ME CRY. Like literal first-readtrough-of-v3-level crying.
Hhhhhhh so much love so much pain. HHHHHHHhhhhh.
So yes the usual. I LOVE YOU I LOVE LESUS I LOVE LESUS LOVING GRISIA AND I MOSTLY LOVE YOU WRITING LESUS BEING ANGSTY ABOUT LOVING GRISIA. Everyone loves Grisia ahhhhhhh. SOBCRIES. Yes yes Grisia is everywhere, yet he is nowhere and EVERYTHING IS PAINFULL. Ahhhhhhh. AAAAaaaaaahhhhhhhh.
Not only Lesus but everyone SOBS yes hello I am too emotional about dumb knights, ask me for a reasonable comment again tomorrow //falls over
Re: SOBS on your fACE
Date: 2014-12-06 10:16 pm (UTC)*hands you tissues* a;ldjkf;asdj;fadf; /o\
Lesus. <333333
I started writing this when I got to imagining Lesus walking through the Holy Temple, seeing traces of Grisia everywhere... ;_____;
=w=
Date: 2014-12-06 10:19 pm (UTC)Grisia: idiot bastard who abandoned his family to pursue a fancy new job.
SKP: '*wails* mommy left us~ mommy doesn't want us anymore~ waaaaah Adair what do we doooooo~'
Other Knights: 'is mommy ever coming back Q_Q what do we do without mommy.'
Lesus: 'darling come back to meeeeeeee I can't raise all these kids by myself!!!'
'Tis the story of a family that cannot live without their mother and a husband who will stop at nothing to get his wife back. *dramatic trailer music*
I totally have not been reading too much random drama fanfics.
Re: =w=
Date: 2014-12-07 03:07 am (UTC)Why can't Lesus be the mommy while daddy is Grisia. Though cries of "mommyyyy" are quite dramatic.
Re: =w=
Date: 2014-12-07 03:41 am (UTC)But, like you said, having the SKP wail 'mommy' is so much more dramatic than wailing 'daddy'
Re: =w=
Date: 2014-12-07 04:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-12-06 10:47 pm (UTC)Birds flying high~
And clouds floating past~
The golden Sun illuminates the path~
Humming a tune with lyrics only remembered up to that point.
no subject
Date: 2014-12-07 03:13 am (UTC)HEY HEY
Date: 2014-12-19 05:52 pm (UTC)Sniff! My tears are flowing I cannot stop them S.O.S!!!
(After hours of reading it again and again)
Sniff
This is exactly how I'd love to write about Lesus' reaction! Writer, you're the Sun Knight of the writing team if i must say! *flowing admiration, bunch of praises for you,kisses and hugs for you!*
Anyway,while I was reading the part "...while the Sun Knight Platoon stood rooted to the spot. Adair's face was beyond pale. ...", I cannot help but wondering what Adair (and Ed,and others) reacted after that!!!
WHAT AND HOW DO THEY REACTED SECONDS,MINUTES AND HOURS, OR DAYS AFTER THAT??!!! xD
Were they 'calmly' like this:
After a moment, Adair seemed like he finally able to breath. After he tried to calm himself, he took a step towards Ceo. After open and closing his mouth few times, he only managed to blurt out
"Captain Sun?"
The Sun Knight Platoon seemed dazed as they waiting for the answer...
After Storm replied tersely, all of Sun Knight Platoon swayed and fell knees-first on the floor.
Adair seemed to lost his consciousness. Again.
Or, 'passionately' like this?
As more than ten minutes passed, Adair spoke out blankly;
"Captain?"
Silence.
"Captain Sun?"
Silence.
Suddenly, Ed shouted out,
"Captain, d-don't play hide-and-seek with us, please?!"
And thus, one-by-one every members of the platoon cried out and wailing for their captain,
"Captain!" "Captain!" "Captain!" (Recalling the event after Mike attacked the platoon and Grisia caved in for this...tee-heehee)
or, more passionate and knight-ly!? Like this! :
Then, the members of His platoon started to have tears streaming down their faces as they dazedly trying hard to understand the lack of presence of their captain from the recent arrival. Each of them except Adair who stood rooted looked as if he'd lost his consciousness in a second.
Ed was the one that started tearfully cried out, "N-No! Captain!!!!"
However, as Adair heard that, he didn't faint, but turned and bellowed at the wailing teammates of him,
"Quiet!!! All of you keep quiet!!"
Everyone presence in the hall silenced. It was rare see Adair like that.
[then some dramatic stuffs like:]
- " Keep our tears in! Shed them only when captain is back!! This is order! Do not let captain down" or stuff like these,
-and then Ed would asked " ...But will he came back?!"
then maybe Lesus or Adair would answer solemnly and resolutely:
"We will bring Him back!"
....In the name of The God of Light, somebody need to decide this! It's rather haunting and spine-shivering!
Better yet if someone created the fic based on Adair's POV.
...No, I think others' like Lesus or Storm might be even better hahaha
forgive me, just venting out some imaginations and hopes that you not need to bother with.
Anyway,great hurting story!!!
[by the way, I can't get access to my account (Holy_Grisia) and the code to enter in order to confirm I am a humanly anon were "Lucky You".
Lucky me indeed!]
Re: HEY HEY
Date: 2015-03-01 07:22 am (UTC)Pfft, the Sun Knight of the writing team? What is that, even? XD Does it include sparkling?
ADAIR POV. I would love that. Awww, the scenarios you wrote with the Sun Knight Platoon are both cute and sad!
Were you able to access your account after that...?